IS THIS NOT A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY?

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As a Youth Welfare Advocate, I am sad about this case that was reported to have happened in one of the most peaceful nation in Africa, Republic of Benin.

According to the report,there is a soldier by name Corporal Chabi Seni whose wife has a restaurant in that country. The sales girls in that restaurant were accused of stealing. The soldier now took the law to his hand by executing judgment on the 5 sales girls and the restaurant manager.

He stripped the sales girls naked, tied them to a tree in the public and allowed the public to watch and take their photographs, insisting he will shoot them if they did not confess to the theft.

I believe this cannot be lawful in Republic of Benin?

I also believe that a soldier has not become a constitutional judge?

I am sure the law of the land does not support stripping of young people naked because of alleged stealing?

Any reasonable individual will want the government of Republic of Benin to investigate this act of complete humiliation of these ladies by Corporal Chabi Seni.

I urge all Youths Advocates, Gender Advocates, Human Rights Advocates, Women Right Advocates, Media Agencies, NGOs and Government Agencies in Republic of Benin, ECOWAS, African Union and the world at large, to rise against this barbaric act against our young people across the globe.

There must be respect for human dignity by all. Stripping the poor ladies naked is to me wickedness and crime against humanity. I am not supporting the act of stealing, but let the due course of the law prevail.

If there is no earthly power to punish the wicked, the heavenly Judge, the God of vengeance is always alive.

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CONFLICT IN RELATIONSHIP: Causes, Prevention And Solution

Conflict In Relationship.

What is Conflict in Relationship?

Simply put, conflict is a strong opinion differences over a matter between two partners.

Why does conflict occur in relationship?

•     Differences in values attached to some issues of life
•     Pride
•   Over rigidity in personal opinion by a partner
•     Lack of deep thoughtfulness on a matter
•     Different cultural orientation and conservation
•    Parochial mindedness
•    Lack of regard for partner’s opinion
•    Undermining the sensibility of a partner
•     Poor communication between partners
•     Unguided utterances
•    Over expectation from one’s partner
•     Millitocractic perception
•     Deceit
•    Superiority complex and egoism
•     Immaturity
•     Poverty
•     Pre-marital sex
•     Low I.Q. of the other partner especially when critical decision has to be taken
•     Lack of patience
•     Dialectical value of inferiority attached to females
•     Poor parental upbringing in regards to human relationship skills
•     Lack of God’s fear

 PREVENTION OF CONFLICT IN RELATIONSHIP

•    Do not go into relationship without praying before taking the step. Human hearts are very difficult to know from human’s perspective but God can guide you aright. If you date a wrong person there will always be conflict.
•     Ensure you go into relationship with the person you really love from your heart. Never date a person because of materialism and mere physical appearance. If you date a person your heart loves, conflict between you will be minimal.
•     Both partners must humble themselves in a relationship. There must be avoidance of superiority and inferiority complex, if not, there will always be conflict.
•    Good communication is paramount in the avoidance of conflict in a relationship.
•     Mutual respect for each other is essential in relationship if conflict must be avoided.
•     Understanding the individual differences in personality of both partners is a critical factor which must be held in high value between both partners.
•     A girl is more complex than a guy. Therefore, the guy should learn to be more accommodating and patient.
•     Avoidance of pre-marital sex must be a decision between both partners. This will go a long way in quenching conflict that is highly disastrous.
•    Each partner should constantly work on his or her weakness with all willingness to learn and adjust socially.
•     The fear of God and constant prayer has been a great help in the avoidance of conflict in relationship.

SOLUTION TO DISASTROUS CONFLICT IN RELATIONSHIP

Though we can not do without conflict in human relationship. Sometimes, conflict seems to be helpful and strengthen our relationship.

The bad conflict is that type of conflict that endangers a relationship. It completely erodes peace between both partners on a constant basis. This is what I refer to as disastrous conflict in relationship.

Here are some ways of solving disastrous conflict in relationship:

CONSIDER THE VIEW OF YOUR PARTNER: Don’t always think you know the best in all things. Your partner could be right over an issue that is bringing conflict. Analyse and consider the view of your partner. Ask yourself is my partner opinion not better than mine over this matter? Have a broad mind and never be sentimental.

DO NOT BE TOO RIGID: You need to adjust your own ground at times in a conflict. Both partners must shift ground for peace to reign.

RESOLVE YOUR DIFFERENCES POLITELY: Courtesy is needed when resolving differences. Abusive words and emotional demonstration only worsen conflict and never resolve it.

CALL YOUR PARTNER’S ATTENTION AND LET THE CONFLICT BE SETTLED BETWEEN YOURSELVES: If it is possible, ensure you settle your conflict between yourselves only. It is great sign of maturity. But where it is not possible, go to your confidant or mentor to assist you in resolving your conflict.

BOTH PARTNERS MUST HUMBLE THEMSELVES: Position, age, wealth must all be put aside if a conflict must be resolved. Sincere humility by both partners will make the conflict to be easily resolved.

BOTH PARTNERS SHOULD EXPRESS THEIR MINDS: Where it is only one partner that speaks out his or her mind on the conflicting matter, there can never be a resolve. Both partners must speak out but must avoid judging the other.

THE REAL CAUSE OF CONFLICT SHOULD BE TREATED AND NOT THE EFFECTS: The root cause of conflict should be dealt with rather than its effects.

EACH PARTNER SHOULD BE WILLING TO APOLOGISE AND FORGIVE: One painful thing to females in our society in Africa is that males feel big to apologize to females even when they are wrong. I feel that culture is not godly. Be willing to tender apology no matter your position. Be willing to forgive your partner. It is God’s injunction for humanity. If you cannot do these, conflict in your relationship can never be resolved.

Free counselling service available to singles with troubled relationship.Feel free to contact me by filling the contact form on this blog or send mail to ologbonyo@gmail.com with the subject 'My Relationship'. 

Please share this to all your friends. I wish you a successful relationship in Jesus' name.

SINGLES GUIDE: DOUBLE-CLICKING AND POLY-CLICKING IN RELATIONSHIP (2)

The Effects Of Double/Poly-Clicking:

1.         They lead to unhealthy rivalry between

         the concerned partners.

2.         They give room to intense competition

         between the concerned partners.

3.         They cause enmity between the concerned partners which may    degenerate to their families.

4.         The double-clickers or poly-clickers are deceivers. They increase their knowledge of deceit so as to avoid some secrecy not to be exposed to their clicked.

5.         The clickers become more confused with the choice to make due to multiple options.

6.         On most cases, the clicked who finally won the game of becoming the final choice might be the rough partner who should have been avoided.

7.         They lead to lack of confidence in partners.

8.         They lead to disappointment and frustration in the life of abandoned clicked.

9.         Double-clicking and poly-clicking lead to spiritual bondage in the lives of the clickers.

10.       They also lead to psychological guilt and shame in the lives of the clickers.

11.       Abandoned clicked become less interested in another relationship.

12.       They lead to constant cheats which bring low reputation of all those involved.

What To Do If You Realize Your Partner Has Double-Clicked Or Poly-Clicked.

1.         Don’t be too emotional. Comport yourself.

2.         Take mature steps to find out the real truth.

3.         Contact a counsellor or mentor on that.

4.         If you need to opt out of the relationship, do that with politeness.

5.         If you must stay put in the relationship, be careful not to wound yourself.

6.         Consider the pros and coins before you take a final decision.

If you are confused, you may contact a counsellor or your mentor.You may also contact me for free on 2348053047898 or through the contact form on this blog.