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Conflict In Relationship. |
What is Conflict in Relationship?
Simply
put, conflict is a strong opinion differences over a matter between two
partners.
Why does conflict occur in
relationship?
- Differences in values attached to some issues of life
- Pride
- Over rigidity in personal opinion by
a partner
- Lack of deep thoughtfulness on a
matter
- Different cultural orientation and conservation
- Parochial mindedness
- Lack of regard for partner’s opinion
- Undermining the sensibility of a
partner
- Poor communication between partners
- Unguided utterances
- Over expectation from one’s partner
- Millitocractic perception
- Deceit
- Superiority complex and egoism
- Immaturity
- Poverty
- Pre-marital sex
- Low I.Q. of the other partner
especially when critical decision has to be taken
- Lack of patience
- Dialectical value of inferiority
attached to females
- Poor parental upbringing in regards
to human relationship skills
- Lack of God’s fear
PREVENTION OF CONFLICT IN
RELATIONSHIP
-
Do not go into relationship without
praying before taking the step. Human hearts are very difficult to know from
human’s perspective but God can guide you aright. If you date a wrong person
there will always be conflict.
- Ensure you go into relationship with
the person you really love from your heart. Never date a person because of
materialism and mere physical appearance. If you date a person your heart
loves, conflict between you will be minimal.
-
Both partners must humble themselves
in a relationship. There must be avoidance of superiority and inferiority
complex, if not, there will always be conflict.
- Good communication is paramount in
the avoidance of conflict in a relationship.
- Mutual respect for each other is
essential in relationship if conflict must be avoided.
- Understanding the individual
differences in personality of both partners is a critical factor which must be
held in high value between both partners.
- A girl is more complex than a guy.
Therefore, the guy should learn to be more accommodating and patient.
- Avoidance of pre-marital sex must be
a decision between both partners. This will go a long way in quenching conflict
that is highly disastrous.
- Each partner should constantly work
on his or her weakness with all willingness to learn and adjust socially.
- The fear of God and constant prayer
has been a great help in the avoidance of conflict in relationship.
SOLUTION TO
DISASTROUS CONFLICT IN RELATIONSHIP
Though we can not do without conflict in human relationship. Sometimes,
conflict seems to be helpful and strengthen our relationship.
The bad conflict is that type of conflict that endangers a relationship.
It completely erodes peace between both partners on a constant basis. This is
what I refer to as disastrous conflict in relationship.
Here are some ways of solving disastrous conflict in relationship:
CONSIDER THE
VIEW OF YOUR PARTNER: Don’t always think you know the best
in all things. Your partner could be right over an issue that is bringing
conflict. Analyse and consider the view of your partner. Ask yourself is my
partner opinion not better than mine over this matter? Have a broad mind and
never be sentimental.
DO NOT BE TOO
RIGID: You need to adjust your own ground at times in a
conflict. Both partners must shift ground for peace to reign.
RESOLVE YOUR
DIFFERENCES POLITELY: Courtesy is needed when resolving
differences. Abusive words and emotional demonstration only worsen conflict and
never resolve it.
CALL YOUR
PARTNER’S ATTENTION AND LET THE CONFLICT BE SETTLED BETWEEN YOURSELVES:
If it is possible, ensure you settle your conflict between yourselves only. It
is great sign of maturity. But where it is not possible, go to your confidant
or mentor to assist you in resolving your conflict.
BOTH PARTNERS MUST HUMBLE THEMSELVES: Position, age, wealth must all be
put aside if a conflict must be resolved. Sincere humility by both partners
will make the conflict to be easily resolved.
BOTH PARTNERS
SHOULD EXPRESS THEIR MINDS: Where it is only one partner that
speaks out his or her mind on the conflicting matter, there can never be a
resolve. Both partners must speak out but must avoid judging the other.
THE REAL
CAUSE OF CONFLICT SHOULD BE TREATED AND NOT THE EFFECTS:
The root cause of conflict should be dealt with rather than its effects.
EACH PARTNER
SHOULD BE WILLING TO APOLOGISE AND FORGIVE: One painful
thing to females in our society in Africa is that males feel big to apologize to
females even when they are wrong. I feel that culture is not godly. Be
willing to tender apology no matter your position. Be willing to forgive your
partner. It is God’s injunction for humanity. If you cannot do these, conflict
in your relationship can never be resolved.
Free counselling service available to singles with troubled relationship.Feel free to contact me by filling the contact form on this blog or send mail to ologbonyo@gmail.com with the subject 'My Relationship'.
Please share this to all your friends. I wish you a successful relationship in Jesus' name.